(Source: lizclimo, via bastille)

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

(via bastille)

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via hey-beautysupreme)

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation
Puppy don’t care
Puppy’s got stuff to do
Puppy’s got places to be
Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation

Puppy don’t care

Puppy’s got stuff to do

Puppy’s got places to be

Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

(via dilfgod)

sadweens:

this party is invite only

sadweens:

this party is invite only

(Source: ghoulleen, via dilfgod)

fagbarbie:

steal her style: Ina Garten

denim shirt: woven from Egyptian grown cotton and died with the  wildest indigo grown in South Carolina 

pearl earrings: gathered from the bottom of the Persian Gulf

tomatoes: picked fresh from the finest gardens in Italy during the winter’s harvest

but if you can’t store bought is fine

(via dilfgod)

sansaslays:

I don’t think I could ever date a good actor like he could tell me he loves me and I’d be like nah you said it much more convincingly to kate winslet try again

(via bastille)

(Source: serfborts, via hey-beautysupreme)

Lady Gaga over the Years: 2011

(via fuckyeahladygaga)

consultingmoosecaptain:

dalekitsune:

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

(via bastille)